Don't give them power over you

There’s this thing we do as humans.

We allow how we see ourselves and our futures to be dictated by how others see us or how we see what or who we were.

We let those negative things tell us how we’ve done this or been that, and that we aren’t worthy of moving past that or achieving more.

I’ve touched on this before, but I’ve seen several instances over the past week that made me think I should go a little more in-depth on this.

With the varied lives that I’ve lived, I can assure you that I’ve done things, thought things, and had some things done to me that would make many of you physically ill.

Some of these things were done out of service, others survival, others pain, and others plain stupidity. And I’m not different from any of you. I let those things and what others said about me drive what I believed my worth was for quite a while.

Let’s look at one instance of things in my life that I’m particularly good at that drove what I believed was all I was good for, for quite a while. Fighting.

It started out as survival in my younger years, and then I got trained in it. Multiple styles of hand to hand, various weapons classifications, psychological operations, the strategic and tactical uses for those as well as other things I’d learned. It fit in very well for where my life was, and I soaked it up like a sponge.

Being good at fighting served me well in some ways, but it also gave people a very skewed or limited view of who I was.

On the good side, I was able to do my job well and protect others. On the bad side of it, I was either viewed as or often told that I was some kind of monster because I was as good as I was at it. Those things being constantly embedded into me made me believe all I was good at was protecting or hurting. If I didn’t have a fight of some kind, an enemy to take on, I didn’t think I was doing the right thing.

Next, let’s look at a part of my life when I was doing some idiotic things.

I’ve spoken a bit about this before as well, but when I lost my fiancée and son, I did everything I could to numb the pain of that loss.

I made a lot of wrong choices. I drank too much, fought recklessly, put myself in situations that if it weren’t for God, I would never have made it out of them.

People saw that and began identifying me by those things. They’d judge, insult, and tell me how worthless or useless I was because of those things I was doing.

And let’s not mix it up. I was wrong with the things I was doing. It doesn’t matter what the reasons were. I was wrong. But I let what others were saying about me then drive what I thought I was.

Because I listened to what those on the outside said, I believed I was a worthless piece of trash. Because I listened to them, I went on making stupid decisions for quite a while.

I had a small number of people on the other side telling me the opposite. Still, I allowed the negative things being thrown at me to drive what I thought of myself, and therefore drive the actions I was taking.

Then you throw in that nagging voice inside of us that reminds us of our failures. Times we should’ve made a right turn instead of a left. The thing that brings up, with perfect recall, moments we thought we’d forgotten that make us feel miserable.

That voice comes in and completes the trifecta of self-doubt and giving up.

It’s easy to give in to those things and allow ourselves to wade into a pool of doubt, self-loathing, anger, and misery.

And these are all things that the enemy wants. It’s a lot easier to continue to take us down when we’re already heading in that direction.

After many nights of prayer, contemplation, and conversations with God, I learned a hard yet simple truth.

I was the one allowing these things to happen.

The people saying things about me didn’t have the power to make me listen to or believe them.

The stupid actions I had taken didn’t have the power to define my ability to make better choices.

That nagging voice in my head didn’t have the power to make worthless.

God gave us all the ability and strength to choose who we’re going to be, how we’re going to act, and the example we’re going to leave.

You’ll never stop people trying to bring you down. You’ll never stop people judging you by things you may have done or not done. That voice in your head will always be there, waiting for an opportunity to break into your thoughts.

Those things you can’t control, so stop trying to control them.

Focus on what you can control. Focus on not giving them the power to bring you down. Focus on moving in the direction that God, and you, want to move. Focus on being the example that proves all of them wrong.

God created each of us for a purpose. Sometimes it takes a lifetime to realize that purpose. Sometimes it takes a week. Still, I can guarantee you that He didn’t create us to give in to all the negative things we, or others, try to bring us down with.

It’d be great if everyone that we knew, or came across, could see the greatness in us. To look at the challenges we had and see how they made us learn and grow. It just isn’t going to happen that way.

It is up to us to choose that we aren’t going to let all of those negative things drive us down.

We have to choose that no matter what, we are going to keep moving and reaching forward.

God didn’t put us here to hurt each other, sow doubt in others, or create doubt in ourselves. Those things are a human construct and a tool of the enemy.

God put us here to share His word, to live with love, purpose, passion, and greatness.

Quit giving that power to those things which only want to destroy you.

Instead, look up and thank God for giving you the strength to move through those things.

Thank God for loving you in ways that knock all those negative actions and thoughts on their backside.

Nobody is perfect, even if you have some that may try to convince you otherwise. We will not be perfect in this lifetime.

The point isn’t to be perfect. It’s time we stopped expecting that from others and ourselves. It doesn’t mean we can’t strive for greatness, but perfection will never be reached.

So, get up and do what you were meant to do. Stop letting all that noise get into your head and heart.

It’s all about moving forward, no matter how slow or fast it may be. It’ll happen in God’s time.

Sometimes God’s time matches our own, others it’s quicker, and often it’s slower.

Believe in Him and yourself, share the positive side of things, and you will see progress being made. Then you might be lucky enough to get out of your own way long enough to see some of the many gifts that God has put here for you.

I believe in you.

God believes in you.

Give yourself some grace and believe in yourself.