Success and legacy

This afternoon I spent a lot of time thinking of 2 conversations I had.

One was from a month or so ago with family, and the other was with one of the great people that work with me on my team. I also have the blessing of calling him a friend.

Then tonight, when I got home, I did the usual. I made dinner, took a shower, and settled in at my desk.

Instead of opening a blank page in one of the many notebooks I have, I opted for just turning on some music.

Then I heard a song by nilu called Are You With Me. It hit me hard. I'll put a link below.

That song made me think more about the conversations that were rattling around in my head, as well as a question I got a few times from those reading these ramblings.

The question I got was asking how I made a "success" of myself after the life I lived.

The danger I find in a question like this is what people are defining success by. For me, success has nothing to do with a paycheck, status, standing, or anything like that.

Success for me is making a difference—a difference for others and a difference for myself.

A month or so ago, I was standing in the kitchen of my sister and brother-in-law's house. I don't remember how but we got on the subject of the latest promotion at work I got and other things I'd achieved.

I was standing there remembering how it was only 10 or 11 years before that I could tell they were resigned to the fact that I'd be okay. Still, I probably would be where I was then for the rest of my life.

There was nothing wrong with my life 10 or 11 years ago. I was writing, I had a good job, I'd worked through the cycle of not believing in myself, and of course, I'd found God.

But standing there, I had to remind her that they never thought I'd get where I am. I knew the response I would get, but there was a reason for me that I was bringing that fact up.

My family likes to call the times before I started to change my life when I had "my head up my butt," and once I wasn't doing that, they knew I'd be good.

Then they saw changes start to occur and me doing different and better things.

So, it changes to "we always knew you could do it."

They're proud of me. I get that, and I'm incredibly grateful for it. But I think it's important to not forget how we got where we are. And that was and is a lot of hard work based on choices I'd made.

I didn't want the work I'd put in internally and externally marginalized. Because it wasn't easy, nor should it have been.

Then I was thinking about my conversation with the guy that works on my team.

We talked through some challenges that he was having at the time, and then he mentioned how he didn't know what his legacy would be.

I listened and realized he was basing legacy on the popular definition society gives it. That thing that's encompassed in fame, followers, and the like.

I told him that to me, legacy isn't about fame and things like that.

Legacy is about doing right by God, the lives you've touched and how you continue to touch those lives long after you're gone.

Your legacy is filled with the people who were impacted by you. The changes you made in them and the love and impact you made that they carry daily and pass on to others.

Success, just like legacy, in my estimation, starts with a choice.

What does success mean for you at this point? At this point, what we see as success for ourselves will change, grow, and evolve over time. It's meant to.

We don't stay the same as we grow through life. Neither should the expectations or desires for what we want for ourselves and those in our lives.

So, define what you want to succeed at this point and choose to dedicate time to achieving it.

It takes work. You'll need to discover what it takes to reach those things. Then after you find out what it takes, you'll need to start acting on those things.

Don't just think through these things. Write them down. Make a list and start checking things off.

It will take time, effort, dedication, and drive.

You'll also have setbacks. How you deal with those setbacks is essential as well.

Throughout my life, from childhood to just a few years ago, if I told people what I wanted to succeed at, I would get resistance.

I'd be told why I couldn't achieve it, why I shouldn't even try. For me, that drove me even more.

When I knew as a kid that I wanted to write poetry, books, and lyrics, I told people. Given my circumstances and the perception of what they knew about me, I repeatedly heard it would never happen.

Instead of listening to them, I began learning. We didn't have money, but I had a library card. So, I learned about those things. How to break down a novel; plots, subplots, character arcs, delivering entertainment and impact.

I learned how stanzas became verses, the emotional core of a chorus, and a bridge's strength.

I learned about similes, imagery, rhyme schemes, rhythm, and meter.

Then I read and listened. Then I wrote.

I won't lie. What I first wrote was horrible. I still remember the first book that I actively ask, sometimes beg, people not to read.

But my next book was better, then my next book was even better, the next even better, and on and on.

The difference between what I did and what most of the world does is deciding, acting on it, and not giving up.

It's much more prevalent today because of the various ways we can communicate and connect, but people wanting to stop others from success has always been there.

Instead of celebrating a person that achieves success, a vast majority of people want to tear them down.

When others are doing this, you have to remember that it is usually driven by something internal to them and has nothing to do with you. People tend to feel intimidated and even scared of people who have the drive and passion to do whatever it takes to achieve their dreams.

I look at where I'm at today, and even now, what I do intimidates and scares people. But it also inspires.

I'm successful in my professional life. I love my job, believe I'm pretty damn good at it, and have achieved things nobody thought I would. With that, I could comfortably, fiscally, set aside my writing, and many people I know think I should.

Instead, I work more than many think I should, then I work on whatever I'm writing. This blog is an example.

That kind of drive inspires those that desire the same while intimidating those that don't understand it.

There is a majority that fears what they don't understand. Then there is the minority that takes action to understand it and uses that understanding to achieve the goals they've set for themselves.

I hate to say it, but that's the primary reason we have such a disparity between the 10% at the top of the game and everyone else. A large part of that 10% worked for it. They put in the time, invested in themselves and others, overcame the roadblocks, and when they were knocked down, they got back up.

Nothing is unattainable if you're willing to dedicate the time, effort, and drive to achieve it. It won't be easy. You will face adversity, likely much more than support. But there will come a time when you turn that corner and expect adversity, but instead, you see support.

Once you show yourself and everyone else that you aren't going to stop striving for that which drives you, that you're passionate about, those you need will come alongside you. Those who don't will still try to knock you down, but you'll find you have the strength to weather that storm a lot easier.

I believe that God put us here to try and achieve those things that drive us.

The other thing that I've realized is probably the most important. That shrinking away from that thing inside us that keeps us up at night, filling us with desire and passion, does nothing to help us. More importantly, you are robbing those in the world of those gifts. Don't shrink away from the greatness that's inside of you. Chase it.

Staying in the shadows we've become comfortable in may feel safe, but we were meant to shine as only we can. Step away from that shadow and let yourself shine.